24 Jun 2013

20 Things That Annoy the Shite Out of Me...

Just for fun I thought I'd do a post about all the silly little things that annoy me...

1. Odd socks. WTF? Don't do it.  Stop being lazy and find the matching pair you lazy Douche-Lord!

2. When you're in the office and someone types really loudly.  Seriously some people need to be bitch slapped. With a chair.

3. People taking fucking ages at the cash point.  They decide its the time to check the balance for ALL of their accounts.  You huff and puff and they still don't get the hint to HURRY THE FUCK UP.

4. When you're waiting for the green man so you can cross the road safely and someone comes along and presses the 'Wait' button as if you didn't know what to do! I already pressed it! I know how the road works!

5. You go to use some sellotape and you can't find the start of it! Arrrrghhhhh!!! Why does this always happppeeeen!

6. You leave your phone at home and panic all day only to get home and have no messages or missed calls.  Oh right so no one loves me then.

7. People that don't make the best of themselves.  Sort your face out! You can do better!  Pluck your eyebrows, dye your roots, wear make up, HAVE A WASH!  I don't want to see your mess.

8. When your computer freezes just as you're typing a really important message. I have actually thrown the laptop when this has happened.

9. Every Saturday evening when I don't win the lottery even though I convinced myself 'This is it Today I'm winning big!'  Nope, no you're not.

10. When people chew chewing gum and suddenly think they're a big boss.  Idiot.

11. Anne Hathaway.

12. When someone has read your message and doesn't reply. I know you've read it because the two little ticks mean you've read it  so why haven't you replied? EH? Because I'm pretty sure if I saw you in the street and said 'Hey, how are you?'  You wouldn't just stand there and completely ignore me. 

13. Parking signs that don't  make any sense -   'Monday-Friday 7am-5pm but not between 12pm-1pm except for Sunday at 11am when the fat lady sings and a bald man walks past' Arrrgh! Just tell me when I can legally park here!!! 

14. Being tagged in unflattering photos. When tagging please look at the photo and ask yourself, 'Would Faye like the world to see this photo of her with her double chin and wonky eye?' If the answer is no, then don't tag me in it!!! I will get you back. Or maybe kill you...

15. Jealous bitches on nights out.  You can barge me, push me, give me a dirty look but I don't care.  Its not my fault I am so fabulous and you are not.  Go home and get over it.

16. Constipation. When you're busy.  I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT. Literally.  Hurry up!

17. You're waiting in a long queue (in Marks and Spencers) and the slowest woman in the world is in front of you, she's bagged up all her things and now she's putting her change in her purse and making small  talk with the cashier when you've been waiting half your life to buy some freaking percy pigs! Arrrgh just go! GO WOMAN!

18. Your skinny/beautiful friends constantly uploading their bikinni pics on facebook  GO AWAY! I've just eaten a whole bag of kettle chips and drank a bottle of wine and now I feel like shit.  Thanks.  Skinny bitch.

19. People with weird and totally unnatural eyebrows.  I'm not sure where this craze came from but you do not look good.  You look weird.

20. Stickers on the bottom of shoes.  No. Just No.

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