14 Aug 2014

shoes

Wednesday 22 July 2014

Hi guys!

I haven't written for a month now which is the longest I've ever gone (I think) but basically I've been dying. Ok, maybe not dying (I can be slightly dramatic) but I'm not sure how else to describe the horrors that be my life of late.

Since the last time I wrote I've pretty much been in a flare. The MOTHER of all flares.  This flare was on a new level.  It wasn't even a Lupus flare it was a Fibromyalgia flare.  I think up until this week I've slept for most of the day plus the whole night.  I have struggled so much to stay awake and at one point I was in so much pain I almost admitted myself to hospital because I didn't know what else to do.

Sami was at football one evening and I called my Mum crying so much she got my Dad to come and pick me up (good ol' Daddy) and I stayed there for 2 days just so I wouldn't be on my own whilst Sami was at work. If I'm honest, I wasn't coping and I was scared. Really scared. I was saying to myself, 'How can I cope with this any longer? How am I actually supposed to live this way?' I felt like I couldn't.  Two whole weeks of constant and unrelenting pain plus exhaustion really fucking takes its toll on your sanity.  I tried to blog about it but writing it all down made me realise how shit it really is and I couldn't type the words without sobbing like a maniac so I stopped, went to my parents and took some time out.  I'd almost call it a mini-breakdown.

As you all know, I deal with a lot of pain etc but it rarely gets me down to the point where I question whether or not I can carry on like this but this time I'd really had enough. Thank god for parents eh?

So right now I'm a lot better.  The flare seems to be on it's way out now and my sanity has been restored but I'm still napping a few times a day which is annoying. All I want is to be a fully contributing member of society instead of someone who naps a few times a day, goes to work once a month and pretty much does nothing else!  I don't mean to moan but Jaysus Christ can you blame me?!

On the bright side, I am very grateful to have Sami who is a real life angel.  He looks after me so much, never moans and he spoils me rotten!  I'm so glad we have each other and I'm so glad I get to marry him soon.  An example of how sweet he is, is when he bought my wedding shoes for me a few weeks ago.  To cut a very long story short, I've had my eye on some very special shoes for many years now and the day I got my wedding dress, Mum and I went to Liberty in London and I saw these shoes in real life.  I tried them on only dreaming I could have them one day and after trying them on I fell in love with them even more but never thought I could have them.  Mum and I carried on with our day but I couldn't stop thinking about them and to make it worse they were perfect for my wedding dress - it's like they were made for my dress!  I said to Mum 'I have to get them! I have to save up and have them!' and she told me I should think about it as they are so expensive.  After sleeping on it, I decided that yes they were too much money and I should look else where.  I bought a lovely pair of typical bridal shoes but after a few days I decided they were too bridal and boring and they just weren't me so I sent them back. I then bought some other shoes online but they didn't fit properly.  I bought a third pair but there weren't comfortable so I decided to save up and buy 'The shoes'  I saved hard and once I had the money Mum and I went up to Harrods to get them and on the day Sami gave me his credit card and said, 'Here you go, darling, go get your shoes.' I said 'What? omg! No, I can't accept this!' But he insisted and said I can't buy my own wedding shoes and he'd like to treat me.  Well, obviously I took it and went!

Quite a few people have said it was ridiculous to spend so much money on shoes but I don't care. I tried other shoes but they weren't right.  To me, the shoes were almost as important as the dress because I am passionate about shoes.  I've loved shoes for as long as I can remember so it was important to me to have the most amazing shoes on my wedding day.  And to be quite frank, I have had so much shit to deal with in the past few years and if these shoes make me happy then why not?  I'm not usually shallow or materialistic so eff it!  Some couples buy expensive things for each other all the time or go out for expensive meals or buy jewellery but we tend to just do little things for each other like Sami will come home from work with a chocolate bar and a shitey magazine or I'll run him a bath when he gets in from football.  I don't expect him to buy me expensive things but on this occasion I think he realised how much I loved these shoes and he wanted me to feel amazing on our wedding day so he got them for me.  I'm even justifying it now but I'm kind of fed up of justifying it because with regards to the wedding we haven't spent fortunes at all, we've made lots of things, negotiated discounts and our reception is in a pub so if I want to be extravagant with the shoes then why not.  Plus I'll wear them again and cherish them forever! They're my babies!

It's things like that which make me realise I shouldn't moan at all. If I wasn't ill I think I'd have the best life ever! But then my illness makes me realise how much I have to be grateful for so it's all swings and round-a-bouts really isn't it?  Some people really don't know how lucky they are.  God what I wouldn't give to wake up with my health back!  If you are reading this and are healthy please count your blessings and realise how wonderful that is.

Ok have I waffled on for long enough now?  I'm falling asleep, I shall save this and continue tomorrow.

Na night xx

14 August 2014

Well, that was bloody ages ago! Once again I haven't written in almost a month.  I'm only really just coming out the other side of that nasty flare.  I had a few good days here and there but it's mostly been bad.  I went back to work last week for the first time in ages so that was nice.

I've had quite a frantic week but today I am looking after my friend's pugs, Charlie and Stanley.   They are so cute! for those of you who know me you will know how mad I am about pugs so to look after 2 for the whole day is a treat! They're asleep and snoring at the moment and it's making me feel very sleepy too.

Think thats my queue for nap time!

Be back soon! xx

24 Jun 2014

Monday Ain't No Fun Day

I am not happy. Not happy at all!

So I'll start off with the whinging then I'll move on to happier stuff as it will be a better way to end this post.

I woke up Friday feeling like death warmed up and I'm still feeling like it.  I'm in so much pain I'm trying not to wail like a some kind of wild animal - I'm still really surprised my neighbours haven't called the RSPCA yet.  One day they will turn up the door and say 'excuse me, we've had reports of a distressed and possibly dying animal in this flat' Lol.

We got back from France last Monday after spending 6 days there for our friend's wedding.  We had a busy but very lovely time although I was tired when we got back I felt relatively OK.  We had so much fun and luckily I only felt ill on the last 2 days (probably because we drank more than any human should and we were ultra busy) but we had a blast and met some really cool people.  I especially loved meeting Daryl and Luke - Becci's friends from the Shopping Centre where she owns her shop, Daryl also owns a shop and Luke works at the television centre there.  We got on so well and Daryl and Sami had a little bro-mance which was cute.  I look froward to seeing those bitches again.

Anyway so after a blast in France I was feeling pretty alright considering and decided to go to work on Thursday after a day of chilling and a day of catching up with the housework.  Work was fine and afterwards Sil and I went out for a few drinks and to watch the England game (what a load of shite!) and Friday I felt OK but then in the evening I felt awful.  I was hot, sweating, my head hurt, my whole body hurt and I was exhausted. Saturday was no different but I managed to pull myself together and go out for my Sister in laws birthday. We went out for a meal and then the plan was to go to a few bars afterwards but Sami and I went straight home which is so unlike me - if there's a party, I'm there! So that made me feel a bit shitty but there was no way I could have carried on, I was exhausted and in a lot of pain - not a good mix. We got home and I went to bed and didn't get out of bed until around 6pm on Sunday.

It's like every bit of energy I had has been sucked out of me.  I feel horrendous.  I can't even think.  An example being when I made myself a poached egg on toast and brought it to the table I realised I only had a fork so went back to the kitchen to get a knife but came back with a fork.  I realised and went back again and came back with another fork! I now had 3 forks and still no knife and I kid you not, I did it AGAIN. So there I was with four forks and still no knife.  Four Forks sake (I know, sorry about that but I couldn't resist)  What an imbecile.  (It only took me three goes to spell that word.)

I can't even type any more because I keep forgetting how to spell words, what word I'm looking for and to be honest I'm fecked.  Bed time for me (it's 3.30pm).  I'll be back...

Tuesday

Well, I'm feeling slightly more with it today which is nice!  I'm forcing myself to chill against my will and I'm booorreeed.  I got the laptop out and I've just been doing some wedding bits like chasing biyartches up that haven't got back to me and I've made a spreadsheet.  I love spreadsheets.  I need to do some housework but I don't have the energy so I'm just gonna have to sit here all day looking at things I need to and should be doing.

It's hard not doing stuff when you know you shouldn't. If I start trying to do stuff I'll end up feeling 10x worse and then I'll be all like 'Faye, you knew you shouldn't have done that' and then I feel stupid. So today, I will chill. And try not to eat loads of crap.  I like eating when I feel rubbish.

Anyway, it's only 9am and I've already received 3 emails from friends and acquaintances asking me to sponsor them for something or other for some charity or other.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love charities and what they're all about but seriously if I sponsored every person who asked me to, I'd be a broke ass mother fucker wearing charity shop (oh the irony) shoes and living off food bank cast offs.  So no, sorry I won't be sponsoring you for your walk down the road or your jog because one day you might be sponsoring me just to live.

I do my bit by donating to Cancer Research every month, I regularly give clothes to charity shops and I always donate to Children in Need so I can decline your invite to your charity sponsorship form with a clear conscience.  Good on you for doing something and fair play to you but no, I won't be getting involved.

Urgh and what about those shitty I'm not drinking alcohol for a month ones? I mean are you for real!!? You want me to sponsor you to NOT drink alcohol? I'd rather sponsor you to drink alcohol and maybe you won't be so bloody boring.  I understand the cause is great but I refuse to sponsor someone for that. If you can't lay off the booze for a month without having to be paid for it then you need someone to sponsor you to go to rehab mate.

Whilst I'm having a rant I may as well have a rant about the things people put on Facebook.  I cannot abide it when I see a pic of some poor abused dog or a woman beaten up by her husband.  I do not want to see that shit.  I know it happens, I'm aware we live in a cruel world but when I go on Facebook it's a way of escaping reality and I do not appreciate being slapped in the face with the harsh reality of a picture of a dog with an ear missing.  Unless you are physically going out and preventing this from happening you are not helping by sharing a graphic photo.  I just like to see people's whiney status' about how boring their day is at work or what they ate for dinner.  I do not want to scroll down and see a mangled dog or face. Stop it.

Oh and another thing that really gets my goat is when Facebook suddenly becomes the fecking weather channel.  I know it's hot/cold/raining! I don't need 12 acquaintances telling me so! 'Ooooh its snowing!' Oh wow, great observation. Well done.  I don't mind when people are saying nice things like 'Oh I love the sun' or whatever but when people literally just put 'snow!' or 'This rain is so bad' or something like that I'm like Grrrr!! Here this goat says it all...



Hmm, I'm a fine one to be complaining about what people say and do on Facebook! I'm a Facebook fiend! I can't get enough of it!  But I always say if I annoy you, you know where the 'unfriend' button is.

One of the best things about Facebook is when you get to be nosey and look at people's pics you don't even know.  You start off having a stalk on a colleagues page then before you know it your looking at their sister's brother in laws cousins wedding pics and then your like 'Erm what am I doing? I don't even know these people' Lol - don't lie and say you haven't done it.

Do you know what else I can't stand? Random friend requests.  Erm, we have no friends in common, you look weird and your from a completely different part of the world - I do not know you so no, we can't be 'friends' I mean, how do these people in find you?? Who are they??

Right OK, I think I'm done.  And breeaattheee.  Stress isn't good for the cells.  My cells are already weirdo's they don't need extra stress.

I was just having an email conversation with my sis in law, she said she hopes I feel better and I was like well I am and I'm not in as much pain but I still feel so exhausted.  I wish I could think of a better word because exhausted doesn't really cover it.  I was saying to her it's weird to feel this knackered when you haven't done anything to warrant it.  Oh well never mind.

So yesterday I went and fed a friend's cats as she is away on honeymoon.  I also fed her parent's cats as they are away at the moment too.  Her Mum and Dad live about 5 mins away in a car and she lives about 7 mins away in a car I don't drive so I had to walk.  I walked to her parent's in around 20 mins and had 3 cats to feed, one of which has a small bum hole so needs laxatives in order to shite (seriously, no lie).  I gave her her laxatives via a syringe in the mouth and went upstairs to clear the litter tray.  Poor little bugger hadn't made the litter tray and I trod in it's runny lump of poo. IN FLIP FLOPS. Yep, poo all over my foot.  After dry-heaving for a good 5 minutes I managed to clean it all up then made my way to Becci's house which was another 20 mins or so away.  I fed her (normal) cats and came home, had a shower and went to bed. I was so tired and really I wasn't up to it and shouldn't have gone but I couldn't leave the poor cats especially the one with the small bum hole so I just got on with it but when I got home I ended up texting her best friend and luckily she's going to feed them in the morning and I'll do them in the evenings when Sami can drive me to each house.  Why does this stuff happen to me? I swear I can't just have a nice, normal life!

Not being able to drive is stupid.  Sooo many people are surprised or say why? Well, the answer is I'm not allowed.  Two of my medications can cause blurry eye sight so I'm not able to drive.  Plus most of the time I'm so tired I don't think it would be safe.  I hope one day I can come off theses meds and as soon as I do I will most certainly learn to drive.

Ok so I said I'd end this post on a happy note but clearly I'm in a ranty mood! Hmm how can I end it happily...Ooooh I know! Its my wedding dress fitting in exactly 3 weeks! I can't wait to put it on again. OMG so excited.  They are going to measure me then it will be made from scratch according to my measurements which is great but it means whatever size I am is the size I have to be in October. No pressure!  I've lost around 12lbs since Christmas and I was hoping to lose another 6lbs but as I've been feeling so weird and ill I've had to go on a course of steroids which ALWAYS make me gain weight so rather than lose I'm probably gonna gain but hey, my health is waaay more important than how much I weigh so I'm just gonna get on with it.  I'm blatantly gonna look amazing in my dress anyway...I joke. But seriously.

OK I shall leave it there and hopefully the next time I blog I'll be in a better place, mentally and physically.
I've actually thought I might have dementia at one point.  God Lupus brain fog is scary and weird and kind of interesting.  Here's a little info about it so you might be able to understand what I'm talking about:

http://www.mollysfund.org/2013/06/lupus-brain-fog-what-is-it-and-how-do-you-cope-2/

Peace out.





21 May 2014

Little catch up

Wednesday 21 May

Shit, is it only Wednesday?!  I've been thinking it's Thursday all day! I want Saturday to hurry up because my best friend in the whole wide world is getting MARRIED! Shit the bed! It's THIS Saturday! Oh my Jaysus!!! This is just too much excitement to contain in my little self!

I've just written my Maid of Honour speech - I hope I can get the words out on the day - everyone will just think who the feck is that blubbering wreck up there?? All they'll be able to hear is me going 'my beessssttttt friiiieeeennnnddddd waaahhhhhh!'  Wish me luck, peeps.  Seriously, I need it.

She asked me to do a speech one evening (after our usual 3 bottles of wine) and in my drunken state, of course I said yes but in my sober state I thought 'feck! I've actually got to stand up in front of 70 people and say emotional stuff.'  Too late now, I've gotta do it.  It'll be fine, I hope.

You'd think I wouldn't want to write anything else after sitting here typing through blurry, teary eyes but once I start I don't want to stop. I've got that writing bug!  I need to learn how to write properly and perhaps I can turn my desire into something I get paid for, now that would be nice! And then I can get a pug and work from home.

So what else is occurring in my life? Well apart from my best friend getting married on Saturday (have I mentioned that?) not much else.  I've been up and down with the ol' Lupus, you know the usual - bad pains, tiredness, brain fog (I put the butter in the cupboard the other day) and generally feeling sorry for myself, which is annoying after a good spell and frustrating when you can't exercise and need to get into a bridesmaid dress but hey ho life goes on as they say.  I've just been chilling when possible this week in order to be well for Saturday.  Sil and I picked up her wedding dress on Monday, I picked up the bridesmaid dresses on Tuesday, had my hair hi-lighted today and Sil and I are having our nails done tomorrow then on Friday I'll have a lie in and head over to the wedding venue with Sil - we're staying over so we're there to get ready in the morning and then after the wedding I'll probably need a week to recover - no joke.

It's Sami's birthday next weekend but we haven't planned anything yet. Well, we're having dinner with both our parents as a pre-wedding get together and the only date everyone is available is Sami's birthday so that's what we're doing but I'll arrange some kind of get together with friends maybe on the Friday or maybe the weekend after, we'll see.  I now have to arrange stuff around the World Cup as planning something when a game is on is a no-no.  Men and football! I'll never get it but I'll try and do the right thing.  Talking of football, I'm glad Arsenal won the other day - Sami's an Arsenal fan and if they lost I would have packed my bags and gone and lived with my parents for a week or so.  Eff staying here! Haha well luckily they won and it was all good.  We went out after the game and ended up getting home at about 3am - needless to say we were pretty hungover the next day.   We got over our hangovers and went to a really nice restaurant called Sushi Samba in the Heron Tower.  We went with Sami's mum and her husband Chris which was nice, although I didn't like going up 40 floors in the glass lift. No thanks! Coming down was worse than going up - I think I may have shouted 'Muummmyyy' on the way down.  What a loser. Food was good though, I recommend it if you live in London or next time your in town.

I've been quite busy actually! Will defo have a chilled week next week and on that note I'm gonna go to bed now - my eyes are starting to close involuntarily.

I'll do a post after the wedding with pics and everything.

See you soon!!



14 May 2014

Candy Floss Brain

8-9 May 2014

Let me start by apologising for not blogging for a long time.  I haven't really been able to due to some tragic circumstances in my family and in one of my closest friend's families.  Due to these circumstances I felt like I couldn't blog without mentioning what had happened but at the same time, I didn't feel it was my place to publicly write about so I just went for the good ol' burying my head in the sand.  I'm sorry to be cryptic (I hate that shit) but I'll have to leave it there.

Anyway I'm back now and busier than ever.  I've recently got back from my best friend's hen do which was rather awesome if I do say so myself.  We went to Brighton from Friday - Monday and basically partied for 3 days and nights.  I was knackered when we got home on Monday afternoon - I sat on the sofa and stayed there till around 10pm and I'm pretty sure I didn't move a muscle. Sami went on the stag do in Budapest and got back late Sunday night so we both just sat there hugging, completely drained.  God knows what the boys got up to in Buda - I don't even want to know.  Us girls go up to quite a lot anyway ;0)

The week leading up to the hen do was rough - I had to use my walking stick and all sorts, luckily I pulled through and was fine for the weekend.  I'm sure all the alcohol and fun helped!

I can't believe my bestest friend in the whole wide world is getting married in less than two weeks.  I'm so excited - I well up every time I think about it and she's marrying such a nice bloke.  Yeeeyyyy.  Funny how we are both getting married in the same year.  We're funny like that - we do everything together. Haha.  Aaaah so excited.

I loved the hen do and I'm so glad it all went well and my best friend had a great time but I'm glad it's over now as I can go back to concentrating on my wedding which is only 5 months away! Shit-a-brick! Planning the hen do was fun but I told her she's not allowed to get married again!  It's all back to normal now and I've finally got my wedding invites ordered today - what a long process that is! Jaysus Christ! Can't I just send out a facebook invite?  That would be so much easier.

We've finally booked our honeymoon! After months of deliberation we decided on a an amazing hotel in Mauritius.  We just couldn't decide and as a very decisive person it was driving me nuts but booking your honeymoon is a big deal and we wanted to get it right.    Sami's Mum's husband found it for us and after having a look we fell in love with it and went ahead and booked it.  Only thing is, we are flying out the day after the wedding which is a tiny bit sooner than I wanted but they only fly out on Sundays so we just went for it.  I'm sure it will be fine.

I've done so much since I last blogged but I won't bore you all with all the ins and outs but I will tell you what I've got  coming up -

We've got a wedding in France in June (can't wait) I've never been to the South of France so I'm looking forward to wine tasting and all of that (French) jazz.  The bride has arranged for all of her wedding guests to stay in a chateaux so Sami, me and our friend Tom are going for a week.  There's gonna be a pool party, bbq, pub quiz and of course the wedding so I think it's going to be brilliant.  I feel very lucky to be having two holidays this year.  Very lucky indeed.

After this wedding we have a break from weddings for 3 months which will be quite nice as we've had a wedding or a hen/stag do every month for the past 2 years, which is mental.  Sami and I are the last ones out of our immediate group of friends so by the time our wedding comes around everyone will be sick of them!  I'm certain most people are already sick of me banging on about it! I even talk to strangers about it - cabbies, people in the doctors, people on the bus, hairdressers, the old tramp down the road....ok maybe not the tramp down the road but most people I come into contact with will know all of my plans.  I'm super excited as well as super broody.  I'm not sure how much longer I can continue to feel like this - it's almost physical. Honestly, my womb actually contracts at the sight of a cute baby (only the cute ones, not the Winston Churchill looking ones) but seriously it does.  I need a pug or a baby soon.  Sami said no to both...for now.  As soon as we are in a position to sell this place and buy somewhere bigger I'm getting a pug or a brussels griffon (or both) so hopefully we can move in a year or so.  We'll see.  For now I'll just have to continue crying at One Born Every Minute and going all weird when I see a cute baby.

  

Wednesday (I think?) 14 May 2014

Hey guys, I'm sat here writing this in a very odd position indeed - I'm sat up ultra straight with a bean bag around my neck and I'm not able to move my head left or right, not even slightly.  Basically I fell asleep on Saturday night and thought I must have slept in a funny position as when I woke up on Sunday I was in so much pain I couldn't move.  I couldn't get up and when I tried to, I screamed with pain. I was like 'Eh? What the feck have I done to myself?'  Seriously, what am I like?

I've hurt my neck by sleeping funny before and not been able to move it for a day or so but it's never hurt like this.  I literally spent most of Sunday crying in pain (oh poor me) and as someone that suffers with a lot of pain, it rarely makes me cry but this pain is ridiculous.  I felt awful all day Sunday, I didn't sleep well at all so felt like shite on Monday and today is Wednesday and I still feel like a hung-over 90 year old with a dodgy neck.  I decided the neck pain is actually a result of Lupus or fibromyalgia as its the same kind of pain I get in my elbows and knees when I have a flare up, plus I've been feeling overwhelmingly tired and like my brain isn't working properly.  Lupus brain fog is so weird - it's like your brain goes all fuzzy.  It's taking me ages to type as I keep forgetting how to spell words or what I was about to write and speaking is hard too. Once I've finished this I'm gonna take some potent pain killers and get in my bed. Wooo! Party for one!

As well as not really being able to move my head without excruciating pain, I'm also on fire.  Yep, I'm on fire.  Well my skin is so hot I reckon you could cook an egg on my chest.  Lupus is on a rampage today!

Here's me earlier on today with my microwaveable bean bag which helps the neck pain a lot - the heat is amazing although I'm still no impressed with this pain that seems to be ...I've forgotten the word I wanted to use...well it's non stop basically....that wasn't the word I wanted though. Arrrghhh! SO FRUSTRATING.


I've called the bean bag 'Billy Small Balls the Bean Bag'.  Yep it's got a name. All this medication is getting to me.

And here's me now, I've developed a rash this eveningv- it's also on my knees and my back - its just like sunburn and it fucking hurts like sunburn.

   

And here's a pic I made last year but it sums me up this week ( I thought I was so funny when I first thought of this) haha



I don't really have much else to say as I can't think....I was going to write about something but it's gone now and I've no idea what it was! Oh well.  I'll be back when I'm more with it and my brain isn't like candy floss.

 my brain

Relentless! That was the word I was after! Wahoooo Relentless!

25 Mar 2014

Eat, Drink and see Kylie

Tuesday 25 March 2014

Hiya everyone - it's me with my weekly waffle.  I'm supposed to be doing the ironing but I'm procrastinating and decided it was time to blog.  The ironing is looking at me - I can hear the shirts saying 'help me, I'm creased up' I'm ignoring them though.  Stupid creased up shirts.

I've not been too bad since I last wrote.  Well I had a very bad day on Friday and spent about 90% of it asleep.  I woke up and just couldn't physically stay awake so I gave in and got into bed where I stayed all day.  Sami woke me up for dinner, I eat it and went back to bed.  The fatigue hit me like a bus.  I went to work on Wednesday and perhaps I over did it because I was knackered on Thursday too but Friday was the worst.  I had all the usual Lupus/Fibro symptoms - the pains, my fingers were inflamed and swollen, my tummy was upset and the fatigue was immense.  However, I woke up Saturday and was absolutely fine - I was bouncing around!

Mum and I went along to the wedding venue on Saturday afternoon.  There was a wedding so the staff said we could come along and take a look at the room before the bride gets there to see how it looks when it's all done up.  I'm pleased to say it looked lovely and I was very happy.  We had lunch and waited for the bride to arrive (we wanted to see what she looked like) and then I went and met my friend Amy.  We went out to a local pub where they had a live band and then ended up in a shitty nightclub.  We had a good time though.

I'm going back to the wedding venue again later for the menu tasting.  Sami, my Mum and Dad and his Mum and husband are all coming - we get to try 3 starters, 3 main courses and 3 puddings plus wine for free! I'm very excited and seriously hoping it's good because if it's not I will not be happy!!  Not good for my waist line though! I'm gonna go for a long walk in a minute to cancel out all the food I will be scoffing later.

It didn't take me long to start banging on about the wedding did it? Haha I'll stop now.  Oh one more thing - I'm going to order my shoes today.  I'm not telling you what they look like but lets just say they are amazing. I love shoes so much.  I actually asked Sami if we could turn the kitchen into a shoe room.  He said 'But where will you cook?' To which I replied, 'I won't eat and you can live off takeaways. Simple.'

I would actually do that.  Who needs food when you have a whole room of shoes?  God, Sami get your priorities right! Hahha.

OHMYGOD how could I fail to mention that on Friday when I was in pain, depressed and considering asking a doctor to amputate my head, Sami came home with a huge Easter egg, a bottle of wine and get this, he bought me tickets to see Kylie in September! That cheered me up!  I was feeling so down all day because I was so exhausted and in A LOT of pain but when Sami came home, life didn't seem so bad. I've got Sami who is amazing and not only is he amazing but he always treats me and never fails to cheer me up so I managed to crawl out of my black hole and remind myself how bloody lucky I am.

I've loved Kylie for a long time - as long as I can remember and boy does she put on a good show so I'm super excited.  Sami even managed to get standing tickets so we will be near the front. Ahhhhh! Excitement overload! He's taken me to see her twice before so I know how good her shows are.  Is it a bit uncool to like Kylie? Ah well I don't care! I'm being slightly cooler in June when I'm going to see Snoop Dog or Lion or whatever he's called these days.  He's on at the Brixton Academy which is my fave music venue. I love him even more now than I did before because he does a lot for Lupus charities as his daughter was diagnosed with Lupus a few years ago.



My brother is a huge hip hop fan and growing up I remember always hearing snoop, Tupac, Biggie, Bone Thugz, Cypress Hill etc so to see Snoop live will be weird! He is like a childhood memory.  Sil and I consider 'Drop it like it's hot' to be our song and are going to dance to it at her wedding in May.  Ahhh got so many exciting things to look forward to.

So there you have it, it's been a bit up and down this week but overall I've realised life isn't bad.  Just got to deal with the rough days by eating chocolate and drinking wine!