25 Mar 2014

Eat, Drink and see Kylie

Tuesday 25 March 2014

Hiya everyone - it's me with my weekly waffle.  I'm supposed to be doing the ironing but I'm procrastinating and decided it was time to blog.  The ironing is looking at me - I can hear the shirts saying 'help me, I'm creased up' I'm ignoring them though.  Stupid creased up shirts.

I've not been too bad since I last wrote.  Well I had a very bad day on Friday and spent about 90% of it asleep.  I woke up and just couldn't physically stay awake so I gave in and got into bed where I stayed all day.  Sami woke me up for dinner, I eat it and went back to bed.  The fatigue hit me like a bus.  I went to work on Wednesday and perhaps I over did it because I was knackered on Thursday too but Friday was the worst.  I had all the usual Lupus/Fibro symptoms - the pains, my fingers were inflamed and swollen, my tummy was upset and the fatigue was immense.  However, I woke up Saturday and was absolutely fine - I was bouncing around!

Mum and I went along to the wedding venue on Saturday afternoon.  There was a wedding so the staff said we could come along and take a look at the room before the bride gets there to see how it looks when it's all done up.  I'm pleased to say it looked lovely and I was very happy.  We had lunch and waited for the bride to arrive (we wanted to see what she looked like) and then I went and met my friend Amy.  We went out to a local pub where they had a live band and then ended up in a shitty nightclub.  We had a good time though.

I'm going back to the wedding venue again later for the menu tasting.  Sami, my Mum and Dad and his Mum and husband are all coming - we get to try 3 starters, 3 main courses and 3 puddings plus wine for free! I'm very excited and seriously hoping it's good because if it's not I will not be happy!!  Not good for my waist line though! I'm gonna go for a long walk in a minute to cancel out all the food I will be scoffing later.

It didn't take me long to start banging on about the wedding did it? Haha I'll stop now.  Oh one more thing - I'm going to order my shoes today.  I'm not telling you what they look like but lets just say they are amazing. I love shoes so much.  I actually asked Sami if we could turn the kitchen into a shoe room.  He said 'But where will you cook?' To which I replied, 'I won't eat and you can live off takeaways. Simple.'

I would actually do that.  Who needs food when you have a whole room of shoes?  God, Sami get your priorities right! Hahha.

OHMYGOD how could I fail to mention that on Friday when I was in pain, depressed and considering asking a doctor to amputate my head, Sami came home with a huge Easter egg, a bottle of wine and get this, he bought me tickets to see Kylie in September! That cheered me up!  I was feeling so down all day because I was so exhausted and in A LOT of pain but when Sami came home, life didn't seem so bad. I've got Sami who is amazing and not only is he amazing but he always treats me and never fails to cheer me up so I managed to crawl out of my black hole and remind myself how bloody lucky I am.

I've loved Kylie for a long time - as long as I can remember and boy does she put on a good show so I'm super excited.  Sami even managed to get standing tickets so we will be near the front. Ahhhhh! Excitement overload! He's taken me to see her twice before so I know how good her shows are.  Is it a bit uncool to like Kylie? Ah well I don't care! I'm being slightly cooler in June when I'm going to see Snoop Dog or Lion or whatever he's called these days.  He's on at the Brixton Academy which is my fave music venue. I love him even more now than I did before because he does a lot for Lupus charities as his daughter was diagnosed with Lupus a few years ago.



My brother is a huge hip hop fan and growing up I remember always hearing snoop, Tupac, Biggie, Bone Thugz, Cypress Hill etc so to see Snoop live will be weird! He is like a childhood memory.  Sil and I consider 'Drop it like it's hot' to be our song and are going to dance to it at her wedding in May.  Ahhh got so many exciting things to look forward to.

So there you have it, it's been a bit up and down this week but overall I've realised life isn't bad.  Just got to deal with the rough days by eating chocolate and drinking wine!

20 Mar 2014

Handbags and Hooping

Thursday 20 March 2014

Hi guys! Sorry it's been a while but I'm not blogging as much lately as I have a lot less to moan about! This blog is like therapy for me and when there's not much to moan about I don't think about blogging.  I do love blogging and could write all day long but that would just get boring.

So what have I been up to? Well as you probably all know (and most of the world) I am getting married in October so most of my time is spent wedding planning.  Mum has been helping too as she is retired now so has lots of free time.  Mum and me are in our element!  We have ring-binders, wedding folders and all sorts of Monica-esque type things! Sami has had some involvement but doesn't seem as keen to organise as my Mum and I (as long as he turns up I don't care) he works very hard and most evenings works late so the last thing he wants to do when he gets home at 8pm is talk about place cards and calligraphy!  I run things by him and make sure he's happy but mostly this is mine and Mum's wedding!

Sami, Mum, Dad and I went out for dinner last night to an Indian restaurant a few miles away as the singer I've booked for the wedding sings there on Wednesday evenings.  I booked him a few months ago after reading about him on someone else's blog.  I had a good feeling so booked him there and then which, looking back was a bit stupid as I hadn't even heard him sing yet! After booking him I listened to him on Soundcloud and thankfully his voice is lovely and after last night I am delighted he will be singing at our wedding.  Oooh I can't wait! I'm sooooo excited.  We booked the singer and a DJ so they will alternate throughout the evening.  And I'm sure my Dad will get on the mic at some point!

I'm surprised how decisive I have been with this wedding - I didn't imagine I'd be like this.  I chose my wedding dress within minutes and only tried on two.  What's the point in faffing about? I know I would have tried on 20 more and after many tantrums, a lot of sweat and maybe a rash from so much scratchy and highly flammable material, ended up back in the first shop with the first dress I tried on.  I booked the singer without looking at 100's of others, again what's the point? We only looked at one venue - we both walked in, looked at each other and said, 'This is the one' so we booked it that day.  Sami chose the colour scheme and I said 'Ooh that sounds nice. Lets do that.'  When Mum and I went to the florist the other day the florist asked what I wanted I said I don't care as long as it looks pretty.  I think she was a bit surprised! She told me I'm the most relaxed bride she's ever seen.  Hmmm I'm sure my bridezilla will be unleashed at some point!

I didn't want this wedding to take over our lives or cause stress so if we/I like it I've just gone for it.  The last thing I wanted to do was traipse around hundreds of wedding venues every Saturday or the dreaded wedding fayres.  OMG I'd rather gauge out my own eyes with a spoon.  So luckily for me I haven't faffed about and Mum has been on hand to help with everything.  Weddings are great but people forget what it's actually all about and for me, the marriage bit is way more important. I definitely underestimated how much goes into a wedding though!

Ok enough about the wedding (it's pretty much my only topic of conversation these days) I will tell you what else I've been up to...Hmm it involves more weddings! My best friend is getting married in May and her sister and I have been organising her hen do which unfortunately I can't talk about here as she might read it but it's going to be AWESOME! So much debauchery!

Sami and I went to his friend Matt's wedding the other day which was lovely.  They had a brilliant sunny day - the warmest March day ever! However, There was a bit of a carfuffle with my outfit for the wedding and Sami and I fell out a bit!  We went to 8 weddings last year and this year we have 7 and I got bored of wearing the same old thing which is usually a floral dress from Coast or somewhere similar so I decided I'd wear something a bit different. The look I wanted to go for was 'ladylike chic' so I bought this amazing Jumpsuit - it had blushy/pink coloured wide legged trousers and the top half was cream with sequins - it was amazing and I managed to find shoes and a jacket to compliment it perfectly.  I put it all on and showed Sami to which he said 'You can't wear a jumpsuit to a wedding!' I was a bit surprised but thought hmm actually yeah maybe this is a bit too out there for a wedding. 

Here is a pic:



The shoes
      


I sent it back and bought a sparkly dress but it was a bit too sparkly and not really appropriate for a wedding.  I then went to Topshop and bought a skirt suit.  I was with my mum and she said it looked lovely and a girl in the changing room said it looked good so I got it and when I came home Sami hated it! It's so weird because he usually likes what I wear but he really disliked it.  Had I of not been sure, his opinion probably would have made me return it but when I looked in the mirror I thought it looked nice so I said to him 'well I don't dress for you, I dress for me and I feel good so I'm wearing it!'  I sent a pic of me in it to a few friends and their opinions were very mixed - one said I looked like a politicians wife, another said it looked like something someone on TOWIE would wear and a few others said it was lovely and looked really nice.  But again I just thought eff it, I like it so I'm gonna wear it and that I did! 

Here's a pic:

 


I had my hair done by the lady who will be doing my wedding hair and I was pleased with how she did it.  I can't do anything like that.  I'm useless with that sort of stuff.

I've got two weddings next month but they are only evening invites and then we have a wedding in June in the South of France which I'm very excited about.  I was thinking of getting this dress:



I love getting all dressed up for a wedding! 

Lupus-wise I've been relatively alright.  I'm still working one day a week and I'm trying to do two days when I'm up to it.  I went to work yesterday and it was very busy so today I'm just going to chill at home.  I'm currently in bed with a cup of a tea!  I want to go out and do stuff but I know I have to rest after a busy day and I'm aching quite a lot so I'm being strict with myself.  I've definitely come to terms with the fact that I have to rest even if I don't want to.  I would like to have gone to work today but it wouldn't have been a good idea so I'm chilling against my will.

I'm sure I've mentioned it in my blog before but I will mention it again - I bought a weighted hula hoop just after Christmas after reading an article about a lady who hula hooped every day for a month and lost 4lbs and an inch off her waist and as it's low intensity exercise I thought it would be good for me.  I bought a normal hula hoop first and once I could actually do it I bought the weighted one which weighs around 2lbs and it's actually easier to keep up.  I do it for around 10 minutes a day (on days I am feeling well) and it's made a huge difference! Since January I have lost 9lbs and 2 inches off my waist. I probably would have lost more but I had period of around 2 weeks where I wasn't well.  It's so easy and it actually works.  At first I was really bruised but after a week your body gets used to it and it doesn't bruise or hurt anymore.  I'm now thinking about getting one that weighs 4lb.  I'm hardcore like that.

Here are some pics:

The hoop:

The nobbly bits are supposed to help massage your stomach and prevent cellulite
Photo


The results:  Ignore the pyjamas
The pic on the left is in Jan and the one on the right is after 6 weeks



The bruising:
Faye McInerney's photo.


I wanted to write about it as I want to tell the world - I feel like I've discovered something amazing!

I had such a horrible year last year and I definitely spent most of it in bed so I decided at the beginning of this year that on days I am feeling good I will do exercise and obviously I want to be in the best shape I can be in for the wedding.  I also want to stay that way! Plus if Sami and I want to start trying for a baby I understand it's better to be in good shape and easier to get rid of the weight after.  So there you have it - hooping works!

A friend of a friend's daughter has recently been diagnosed with Lupus and asked me for advice.  I didn't really know what to say other than all you can do is be supportive, learn as much as you can about the disease and hope for the best.  I was happy to be asked as it's my way of helping others with this disease.  Sometimes when I am in a particularly positive frame of mind like today, I think to myself if I didn't have Lupus then I wouldn't be able to help others with it.  I often receive messages from people who have read this blog saying it helped them or cheered them up or they show it to their friends or family to help them understand what they are going through and things like that make me feel really good because I've helped someone that day.  This illness also helped me discover my love of writing which has now become more of a compulsion! So it's not all bad.

I'm thinking of going on a creative writing course in order to help me to learn how to write book.  I've been wanting to do it for a ages but I never actually pull my finger out and do it! It's time.  As soon as I log off I'm going to look into it and hopefully next time I blog I will be able to say I've started my course!

Ok, I've waffled on enough for one day!

212 days until the wedding! Ahhhhhh!!!



4 Mar 2014

Bring on the rest of 2014

Tuesday 4 March 2014

Hey guys! I come bearing good news for once.

Those of you who know me and those of you who follow this blog will know last year was a pretty shitty year for me - Lupus was troublesome and wreaking havoc with my body (and my soul) I was bed-bound most of the time, I was diagnosed with another life-long, incurable illness, I had to give up my job, I was told not to consider starting a family, I was in a lot of pain mentally as well as physically and to put it bluntly, it was fucking crap. I'm pretty sure this blog saved me from having a break down and of course the support of my fiancé, family and friends - you have all been amazing. Anyway, this year has started off very positively indeed....

A few weeks ago I went to the Lupus unit at St Thomas' Hospital to see Dr Kumashta who is the Lupus pregnancy doctor.  I saw him exactly a year before purely because I wanted to know what Sami and I would be up against once we decided to start a family.  We had no intentions of starting at that time but we wanted all the information so we were prepared. However, nothing could have prepared me for what the doctor said to me.

I ended up going to the appointment on my own because the weather was really bad, it was snowing heavily so I didn't want my Mum to leave the house as she had a bad back and as I thought Mum was coming with me I hadn't asked Sami to take the time off work.  I wasn't bothered about going on my own as I just thought I'd go along and we'd have a nice little chat but that wasn't the case.  He told me that as my lupus was severe we shouldn't even consider having a child as it would put me and the baby at risk.  He also told me I had 'sticky blood' which could cause miscarriages including later on in the pregnancy.  He told me it wasn't impossible for me to have a baby as he'd seen women who had 10, 12 and even 13 miscarriages before giving birth to a healthy baby.  I was shocked.  He was a lovely doctor and held my hand and told me that it's not impossible but he wanted me to know the facts. Obviously I was devastated and on the way home I nearly passed out.  It turned out I had labyrnthitis (a severe ear infection) but at the time I thought it was because I was so upset!

I phoned Sami in tears and he was so supportive saying, 'Don't worry, we will get through this, just because things might not turn out the way we planned it doesn't mean we won't be happy.'   He felt bad for not being there with me and so did Mum but none of us knew that was going to happen! I wasn't aware of the sticky blood which had shown up in my previous round of blood tests so wasn't expecting to be told about that and the implications on pregnancy.  Sadly, that appointment set the tone for the rest of the year which was awful.

This year however is different.  When I saw Dr Kumashta a few weeks ago he told me that seeing as my Lupus has been so quiet recently he would give me the green light to go ahead and start a family.  He said my bloods are all normal and although I would have to be kept an eye on, the likelihood is my pregnancy would be fine, he also said my chance of miscarriage is now the same as any other healthy woman.  I told him this is great news as Sami and I are getting married in October.  Mum came with me this time and we left the Lupus Unit (for the first time ever) with smiles on our faces.

I saw my regular Lupus doctor yesterday for my quarterly check up and he said my bloods are all good and as a result I am able to reduce my medication.  I am DELIGHTED by this.  I am now on the least amount of medication I have been on since my diagnosis. He also said he would classify my lupus as mild.  He was quick to say I know it might not feel mild at times but in the medical world we'd class it as mild because it's not likely to get so bad you end up with kidney or heart failure.  Wow, I never thought I'd be so happy to hear someone say 'The illness you have is horrible but not so horrible you'll die from it.'

I spoke to him about the night sweats I suffer with as to me, apart from the fatigue, they are my most distressing symptom (yes, worse than the pain) as they prevent me from getting a good nights sleep, they make me feel disgusting and I just hate them but he said they have to go under the 'just have to live with it' file.  So, there's nothing they can do about it.  But hey, there are worse things in life and overall the appointment was really positive so I shouldn't complain.

It's great that Lupus wise I'm well at the moment but I do still suffer with the fibromyalgia (see post titled 'Fibromlyagia, a brief explanation' before this one for more information) and unfortunately there's no cure for that either.  My only saving grace is that Fibro isn't life-threatening like Lupus so at least I don't have to worry about it killing me.  Lupus is always a worry because it can cause organ damage but at least with the fibro its not dangerous.

It would seem my decision to give up working full-time was the right thing to do.  I have noticed a significant improvement and even my blood tests are fine now.  It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make and I'm so glad it's not a decision I regret.  I guess Jack Osborne was right when he said 'Adapt and Overcome' after he was diagnosed with MS.  The way I see it, is you're not the same person after being diagnosed with a life-long illness so you can't live the same life.

So there you have it, bring on the rest of 2014!!!

28 Jan 2014

Fibromyalgia - A brief explanation


Tuesday 28 January 2014


Hey guys! It's me with my weekly waffle/jibberjabber. Today I want to write about Fibromyalgia - the word fibromyalgia comes from Latin and Greek - Fibro meaning fibrous tissues, myos meaning muscles and algos meaning pain so you get the gist.

I was diagnosed with this wank-lord of an illness in June last year (although I had it for a few years prior to my official diagnosis)

So what is Fibromyalgia (or FM as I am going to refer it from now on and what causes it?) Well it's a central nervous system (brain, spinal chord and nerves) disorder that has three main symptoms - widespread pain, fatigue and trouble sleeping. Fibromyalgia also causes IBS, mood issues, migraines and loads of other horrible shit - the list is so long but in short it's painful, makes you feel exhausted and causes you to be a cranky old witch.

The NHS website has this explanation under the causes section:

One of the most likely causes of FM is a problem with the way pain messages are carried and received in your body.
The central nervous system transmits information all over your body through a network of specialised cells. In people with FM, the way pain messages are processed is disturbed. This may explain why FM results in constant feelings of pain and extreme sensitivity to pain.


Another cause I am aware of is trauma to the body.  So a bad injury can cause fibro and things like Lupus can be a cause too - lots of people with Lupus also have FM =0( or a very stressful event in your life.  However, these are not fully understood so without full understanding of what causes this illness there can be no cure! Same goes for Lupus.

I find it hard to fully explain the true horrors of it as unless you've felt it, you could never truly comprehend the shitness. Fortunately, FM is not inflammatory or degenerative so unlike Lupus there are no serious complications or long-term damage. The only likely damage is to your quality of life. And maybe your positive outlook on life.

The worst part is the fatigue. It's not normal tiredness, it's sheer exhaustion - the kind that makes your vision blurry. You know when you're so exhausted you can't even think? It's that kind of feeling. Sometimes I'm so exhausted I want to cry and sometimes I do cry but then I feel even more tired. It's not fun.

The pain is the second worst bit. The pain can be mild to excruciating and even when 'mild' it's still very much there - nagging at you like a pissed off woman. I cannot remember a day where I haven't been in some kind of pain. When I say I'm having a good day what I actually mean is I'm not having a terrible day.

When the pain is excruciating it's like standing on a lego multiplied by 100 and all over your body, literally from head to toe. I've also heard the pain described as having battery acid running through your veins instead of blood. That's a pretty accurate description. When the pain is mild it's like the day after you've worked out at the gym and your muscles ache. So imagine that pain plus feeling generally unwell like when you have a virus and then you are almost on your way to imagining what living with FM is like.

Next up we have the sleeping issues. I suffer with night sweats most nights and when I don't, I feel extremely lucky. I wake up between 2-6 times a night shivering and covered in cold, manky, sweat. Yeah, that's a nice image isn't it? Anyway the other factor is that some people with FM have non-restorative sleep so we wake up un-refreshed (is that a word? Well, you know what I mean) we wake up like we've had about an hours kip. Apparently studies have shown we don't go into the REM sleep bit - the deep sleep part of the night. No wonder we are exhausted eh?

Luckily for me, FM also causes IBS so pretty much 2-3 times a week I have some kind of digestive system related issue but I won't go into that because no one wants to hear about that. I hope?!

The day I was diagnosed with FM was the day I handed in my notice and gave up my job. Lupus is bad enough and then my body decided I hadn't had enough and decided to beat me up further. I didn't handle it well and just thought 'fuck this' I need to get my life back and pushing myself too hard wasn't working. Even the doctor advised me to take some time out and learn to chill out so that's what I did.

Treating FM isn't easy as the pain comes from signals in your brain so painkillers don't really work as they treat acute pain symptoms rather than long-term, chronic pain coming from misguided brain signals. I was given a course of anti-depressants but I didn't take them as I'm not depressed and didn't really want to go down that route or take more tablets than I already do. I was also given muscle relaxants but they spaced me out and I could barely move or talk. Other options are gentle exercise (not always easy or doable) and I've heard acupuncture can be good but I've not tried it yet. So really we just have to live with it and try and get on with it. Again not always easy. I've recently been doing gentle exercise and taking extra vitamin D and I've found a slight improvement - my pain is less excruciating but sleeping is still a pain in the arse. I actually feel envious when I wake up for the fourth time and I can see Sami snoring away with a smile on his face. Grrrr! It's a lonely time is 4am. I don't like meeting up with 4am.

So there you have it, a brief explanation of what Fibro is and how it makes me feel. In a nut shell, fibromyalgia sucks and people that have it are awesome.


21 Jan 2014

All is well.....for now


Tuesday 21 January 2014

Well hello! Sorry it's been a while - about 3 weeks since I last blogged.  We haven't had a laptop and I've got a new phone which I can't really type on so I haven't been able to write.  Sami bought a new laptop at the weekend so all is back to normal.

I haven't been up to much - January is a quiet month isn't it? January is a rubbish month! Cold, dreary, quiet and boring! Actually I say I haven't been up to much but it hasn't been THAT quiet.

It was my bestie's birthday on 4th January so she had a little gathering at her house.  We all had a really nice evening and drank way too much prosecco! At one point we were doing piggy back races (as you do) and I fell off the person's back I was on, landing on a plug.  To say it hurt would be an understatement.  Luckily I was quite intoxicated so didn't feel the pain as much as I should have.  When I woke up the next day I could barely move and I'm not exaggerating.  I must have badly bruised my coccyx - I was in pain for about 2 weeks after and even now still get little twinges when I change position.  I was so annoyed with myself because I've been having a really good spell and then go and hurt myself.  I could hardly walk for about 4 days and not because of my illness but because I stupidly fell over whilst drunk!  I'm just destined for a life of a pain (get the violins out) anyway I'm fine now so I'll stop whinging.

So the last time I blogged I was telling you all how I'd been well over the  Christmas and feeling good.  I'm pleased to say I'm still feeling good (I've had a few minor blips) but generally I've been like a normal person.  It's quite unsettling as I keep thinking when will Lupus come and get me? I'm trying to make the most of it but that thought it always lingering.

I say I've been well and by well what I actually mean is not as bad as usual.  I've had lots of skin rashes - some that are painful and others just weird and when I go to work (one day a week) it really takes it out of me.  I enjoy going in but by the end of the day my brain is all fuzzy and I feel absolutely exhausted.  The next day is pretty much a write off too but I really like going to work - it makes me feel like I'm part of the world again and like I have some kind of contribution.  I thought I'd be ready for a full time job again by now but I've realised one day a week is enough.

I can now add Migraines to my list of Lupus symptoms - I've been ok for the past week but for a couple of weeks before, I was having a migraine every few days.  Really horrendous ones that made me feel sick.  I couldn't open my eyes and needed to just lie in a dark and quiet room.  I was trying to work out why I was having them as migraines is not something I've ever suffered with (except when I'm on a high dose of steroids) and I figured it was actually withdrawal symptoms from my painkillers.  I realised that because I've been well I haven't been taking them so that's what the cause must have been.  I felt like a druggy -  I was trembling, feeling sick and suffering with terrible headaches. Not good what they can do to you which is why I usually have a few glasses of wine instead of taking pain killers - it works and surely it must be better for you?

Anyway, It was my sister-in-laws hen do at the weekend which was really good.  We went to The Shard for drinks and it was stunning - if you haven't been up there I highly recommend it! After The Shard we went for dinner at a restaurant in London and a few drinks then we all went back to a hotel and stayed there the night.  Oh and we got a hummer from the hotel to The Shard which was an experience! The wedding is in 3 weeks - I can't wait! I'm a bridesmaid for the first time and I'm so excited! I can't believe it's only 3 weeks away!

Blurry pic of the Hummer


Me in The Shard


The View


So yeah, I guess I lied when I said I haven't been busy!  Sami and I had a date night last weekend which was lovely.  We went for dinner to a nice Turkish restaurant and then to Happy Days the musical which I loved.  I love musicals! 

Photo

I decided to make some changes to my lifestyle this year.  I'm getting married in October and would like to be slimmer so rather than trying to lose weight like a maniac a few months before the wedding I decided to change a few things so that by the time the wedding comes around I'm fit, lean and look how I want to look.  I've cut down on alcohol (Sil's birthday party was an exception) and I'm aiming to do 30 mins exercise everyday.  Nothing too gruelling - some days I go for walks, other days I do yoga, some strength exercises and when I've been up to it I've gone for power walks. I also do hula hooping which I'm addicted to! I've never really had a bad diet but I've cut down on my portion sizes.  I started around 5th Jan and I've managed to lose 5lbs.  I'm hoping to lose about a stone overall and by changing my lifestyle I'm hoping it stays off.  I really enjoy exercising but obviously I'm not always able to which can be frustrating but I'll just do it when I can.

I couldn't do anything yesterday - I was in bed for the whole day as I couldn't keep my eyes open longer than about 10 minutes.  I'm not sure what happened but I was exhausted, not the normal tired that normal people feel, it was that Lupus fatigue feeling when even lifting an arm makes you feel so tired you need to sleep! It's really awful and I haven't felt it for a while so it really knocked me for 6.  I tried to fight it as I had lots of house work etc to be getting on with but in the end I just gave in and went to bed where I stayed all day. I felt like I'd wasted a day of my life but I don't get too upset about it now as I've come to terms with my illness and accepting my limitations.  No point in crying about it as it won't change it.

I've got a hospital appointment on Friday (my quarterly check up) where I will be sent off for a million blood tests, well maybe not a million but I usually have about 10 different ones and as a person with a fear of needles it's quite traumatic! I'm slowly getting over it though -  I don't really have a choice do I?
I'm looking forward to this appointment as it feels like I haven't been for ages!  The appointments can be slightly depressing though as when I was first going he was trying all different meds to try and make my life easier and now we've tried most things I'm pretty much stuck with what I'm on so now I go there knowing he can't really help me any more than he already has and I know there won't be a cure any time soon so the appointments aren't exactly satisfying.

I'm looking forward to next Friday as we are going for a meal at The Hawksmoor - it's a restaurant in Covent Garden I've been dying to go to for ages and we are finally going! I'm going to have the steak AND the lobster! I can have one night off from the diet!

So yeah, that's it really.  I'll let you all know how The Hawksmoor is!