23 Apr 2015


Wednesday 22 April 2015

Well hello my dahlings!!!

I was just writing the date at the top and even at 29 years of age I still spell out Wednesday when I write it 'Wed-nes-day' Lol who else still does that?

It's been bloomin ages since I last wrote a post....I don't really know why to be honest. I think I just kind of lost some of my writing enthusiasm and I've been quite well so haven't had much to moan about and (this may sound weird) I don't like writing about it when I'm well as I know people with Lupus read this and I don't wanna be that smug person all like 'yeah well I'm fine now' as many of you know, Lupus is a disease that waxes and wanes, I can have months of being horrendously ill and months of being totally fine so although I think it's fine to say when I'm fine I don't wanna brag about it.  Not sure if that makes sense? Shit, I don't even know what day it is half the time so I'm pretty I hardly ever make sense!

I had to ask myself three times what day it was today.  This is me to me (anyone else have convo's with themselves?) Anyway here's my convo,
'Huh? What day is it today?'
'Wed-nes-day Faye, It's Wednesday.'
'Oh yeah so it is.'

2 Hours later...
'What the fuck is going on? What day is it again?'
'Errrmmm, I dunno, Tuesday?'
'No, it's Wed-nes-day you dick.'

Does this make me sound a bit mental? I actually do have conversations with myself, sometimes out loud.  Sami will often say 'what? What was that?' and I'm like 'der! I'm talking to myself' and he just says oh right ok, that's "normal".

So what have I been up to? Well seeing as you asked I shall inform you! I'm still working at Waitrose and loving it, I'm now doing Saturday mornings and Mondays - I managed to swap my Sunday shift which has made life a lot better. I genuinely loved working on Sundays because they are really busy which makes it fun but I was finding it difficult not seeing Sami and not really having a weekend.  I know I wasn't working in the week but all my friends do so the weekends is when they want to socialise and I couldn't, plus I wasn't able to spend much time with Sami and as newly weds it was pretty shit so I now have a nice work/life balance.

As I said earlier, I've been pretty alright health wise for quite a while now and my doctors have confirmed I am still in remission (since December) which is beyond amazing - I haven't had a remission this long before (touch wood) so I'm doing something right!  When I say remission what I mean by that is the disease itself isn't active but I still suffer with fatigue and joint pain/aches/memory problems etc but instead of being every day or random it's only when I over do it.  So when I work on Monday for example, Tuesdays are pretty much a right off, I either sleep all day from exhaustion or I spend it lying in bed in pain and although its horrible, it's only the one day and then by Wednesday I'm right as rain again. So instead of waking up every day in excruciating pain and hardly able to move/wash myself I now only have mild pain/aches except after a full day at work.  I have finally found a way to be able to work and have some kind of life.

I'd love nothing more than to be able to work full time again but right now that is definitely not an option, I think I would actually die.  I did some over time today - a 1pm-9pm shift and I'm a little bit scared about the state I'm gonna wake up in tomorrow! I'm working tomorrow as well but only a 5-9 shift so I've got time to rest beforehand.  I've told everyone I work with about my illnesses so they understand if I need a break or whatever, however I haven't actually ever taken any extra breaks and I've never called in sick which also proves I'm getting the balance right at the moment. Ahhh I hate saying things like that as I'm always worried I'll jinx it! If I have to call in sick tomorrow this is why!

Sorry, I'm banging on about work like you care!

I'm going to Dublin on Monday with Sami and my parents just for a few days and I can't wait! Gonna see some family and hopefully a bit of Dublin.  Sami and I went about 8 years ago so it will be nice to go back.  I still need to pack, I can't believe I haven't packed yet! I usually pack about a week before! For our honeymoon I packed 2 weeks before.  Wow, today's post isn't exactly making me look sane is it?  But it was necessary as we jetted off the day after our wedding and I didn't wanna be stressing with packing 2 days before the wedding and Sami doesn't do his own packing - that's why he has a wife (his words, not mine) I spoil him too much.

It's his 30th in May and I need to decide what to do...I have three ideas and I'm not sure which one to go for, I need to hurry up and make a decision though as it's not far away.  Bloody people and their birthdays.  Feck! I'm 30 this year too.  I don't want to be in my thirties. I don't feel old enough to be in my thirties. I feel like when you're in your thirties you have to grow up and do all adulty things and I'm not ready yet. I feel like I should be 24. Yes, I'm 24.

Right it's waaaayyy past my bedtime (it's 12:10am) how the fuck am I still up? Who am I?
G'night y'all. I'll be back soon....

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