5 Sep 2013

Huh? What day is it? Who am I?

Thursday 5 September 2013

I'm feeling so much better since my last post. Its just constant up and downs with all these chronic illnesses! Oh well, at least I'm feeling good today. 

I popped into Bromley yesterday as I really wanted to get out after being bed bound for 3 days, it was nice but I ended up buying new stuff. Whooops. I bought a new black playsuit and I can't wait to wear it. I got a size ten which fits but I've decided to go up a size now as I realised I've lost around 5lbs in the last week - I think its because I was unwell and I'm pretty sure I will put it back on now I'm feeling better so I don't want it to be too tight and all that.  

I also got lots of free stuff yesterday - I popped into Primark to get some holiday bits (3 weeks to go! Aaaahhhhh) and the guy behind the till was scanning some of the items but not others and was still putting them all in the bag. Afterwards I said, 'You haven't scanned everything.'
He replied, 'I know darling' and winked! Haha so I got about £20 pounds worth of stuff for nothing...I felt a bit weird though, like I'd stolen from the shop. Never mind it wasn't my fault.  

Anywaaay that's not really interesting is it. 

Although I'm feeling better physically I'm still feeling rough mentally. Lupus brain fog is weird. Its like, you know when you're unsure what the day is? And you ask yourself a few times throughout the day? 'What day is it? ' 'Its Thursday.' An hour later, 'What day is it again?' 'Oh yeah, its Thursday.' Well that's what its like for me allll day with everything! Not just the day! Its like, 
'What was I just doing?' 
'What day is it?' 
'Where am I going?'
'What was I about to say?' 
'What's my name?'
Seriously that's what its like all day long. FML! I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be allowed to leave the flat on brain fog days...or cook, or use any electrical equipment. In fact, I should just lie down and be fed grapes. And gin.

Today I am going to be productive seeing as I am feeling good. I shall get shit done! I also ought to put some stuff on ebay - I could do with some money and I've got a wardrobe full of stuff I don't wear anymore. I go off stuff quickly and facebook doesn't help because you don't want to be photographed in the same outfit too many times. Stupid facebook. 

I was reading an article the other day about partners who snoop on each other's facebooks or go through each other's phones and quite frankly I think that's disgusting. I wouldn't expect Sami to snoop on me and I'd never do it to him, its such an invasion of privacy and blatant distrust. Even thinking about it makes me cross.  

Sami has apps on his phone that I don't have because he has an iphone (well he has 3 - one personal, one work and the work emergency phone. Or one for me, one for the other bitches and one for drugs as he tells me!) I have a blackberry so I use his phone for instagram and games but I've never been tempted to start reading his messages etc. Maybe if he seemed cagey when I used his phone, I might feel tempted but I respect his privacy and I respect him.  What if you did have a snoop and you ruined an amazing surprise? That would be awful. So my opinion on this is its really wrong and if you do feel the need to snoop then there's probably a good reason. Or you're nosey/paranoid/crazy. You decide. 

My Mum was finally granted disability living allowance yesterday after a ten month battle. Her claim was rejected twice even though she had a stroke and was later diagnosed with a chronic heart condition which caused her to have to take early retirement. Shocking. I'm so glad she fought for it because she is more than deserving. There are people receiving DLA for a spotty arse for feck sake and my poor mother who suffers daily with medication induced fatigue, brain fog (snap), heart palpitations, drug induced arthritis pains and the list goes on and they denied her? They messed with the wrong woman. 

Its weird how my Mum and I became unwell at almost the same time and we even gave up working at the same time - 2 years after our diagnosis. We both tried very hard to carry on as normal but I think in the end you have accept you're not the same person anymore and you have to adjust your life accordingly. 

Anyway back to me, myself and I - I put a pic on facebook yesterday of my hair in a bun...

This was a big moment for me as after years with short hair (by choice) and a couple of years with short hair due to stupid chemo drugs, I have finally been able to grow it and now its long enough for a bun! Yey!! I was so happy. Made my day that did. Easily pleased aren't I?!

I don't really have much else to say today, I'm just going to go and enjoy having a good day and not feeling like the walking dead after a horrific accident. 

Catch y'all later. X

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