30 Dec 2013

Goodbye 2013...you fucker!

Friday 20 December 2014

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago but didn't post it for some reason (I most likely fell asleep or summin)

Well what a fecking week! The last time I blogged was Monday (today is Friday) after a hellish day and it's been hell all week.  So after Monday's Lupus torture, Tuesday was even worse.  I was in so much pain I genuinely thought I'd quite like to die. Sami took the day off work to look after me because on Monday I could barely get out of the bed to piss, I didn't eat or drink all day and  Sami was very cross with me for not calling him home from work but as weird as it might sound, when I'm ill I like to be on my own.  I don't like people around me.  But when you can't move it's not really ideal so I need to sort that out. Anyway, Sami did a good job and took me to the doctors where I asked for some new pain killers as everything I had at home wasn't working. The doc prescribed pregabalin or Lyrica as it's most commonly known.  It didn't really help but it did make me feel more relaxed (I think its a muscle relaxant too) it also knocked me out for most of the day which was good and then that night I had the best nights sleep EVER! No night sweats, no waking up too pee, just a good old fashioned full nights sleep.  The next day I felt slightly better and Sami went to work a bit later on in the day and took me to my Mum and Dad's house. Mum looked after me and even made a sticky toffee pudding which was delicious. I felt all spoilt.

I started feeling better after that and was totally fine all day yesterday which was great but then I went to bed and woke up about 8 times covered in sweat.  One point I woke up, went to the loo, dried myself off and came back to the bed to find the sheets were soaking wet.  I actually cried my eyes out.  I ended up moving some pillows over the wet bit and managed to sleep.  I know this isn't pleasant reading but it's my life with Lupus and I want to give an honest account of what it's like so fellow lupies can relate and people who are interested can read about what it's like to live with a chronic illness.  So yeah it's been pretty shite this week. On top of the pain, fatigue and sweating I've had various rashes and clumps of hair came out when I was in the bath the other day which was nice.

These rashes were so sore! They felt like sunburn and just randomly showed up.


Hello bald patch

So it's now Monday 30 December and after the hellish week I describe above I've actually been feeling good.  I'm a little weirded out to be honest.  Usually Christmas is my worst time but this year I've been feeling great.

Sami and I spent Christmas Day round at my parent's house which was lovely. Mum did the whole shebang and we played games and watched shite on TV.  I took some pics this year too, which for some reason I never seem to do at Xmas! I made Mum and Dad do one of my favourite things - SELFIES! Lol. Dad was loving it, he's nearly as vain as I am!


I was very spoilt and got lots of lovely presents. Mum bought me loads of stuff, shoes, Dior and Estee Lauder make-up, clothes and new pyjamas (I always have to get new PJ's) and Sami bought me a lovely watch and some DVD's and my usual pressie - a pug calendar. My brother bought me this amazing hair tool called the hair perfecter - it's a heated round brush and I love it.  So yes I was extremely spoilt and had a wonderful time.  Christmas makes you realise how lucky you are.  I felt all emotional thinking how lucky I am to have such wonderful family and friends and Sami.  Life can be hard but when you've got good people around you it's doesn't seem as bad.

I still can't get over not feeling like shit. I don't get it as all I've done is eat loads of shite and consume far more alcohol than any human being should (Sami got loads of bottles of champagne and wine from work so we've been having a great time!) How does this make sense?  I wish I knew what triggered my flare ups. Oh well, for now I shall live in the moment and embrace not being in pain! I've even devised a fitness plan for the new year.  Don't worry I'm no about to get all 'New Year, New Me' on you but I really need to incorporate some exercise into my life so thought why not do it now.  It's annoying though because when I'm feeling well I'll plan all these things and then I'll wake up feeling like I've been run over and all my plans are ruined! But I am determined to make sure on my good days I do some exercise.

So we've come to the end of the year.  What a year it's been.  I put a status on Facebook the other day basically saying wow it's been a struggle but I've learned to appreciate the things I do have and not to take anything for granted.  Although it's been an extremely tough year It's also been the best year of my life so far because Sami proposed to me and now I get to marry him in 2014. AWESOME. I can't wait.  All the shit that happened this year has just made me ready for next year. I'm wiser, stronger and ready to dust off whatever shit comes my way.  It's true when they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Hopefully 2014 won't be as tough and hopefully I won't have to spend most of it in bed like this year but hey lets not focus on that. Lets focus on positive things instead!  I'm going to be Mrs Ceyhan next year as long as I've got my Sami by my side I know I'll be fine.  And he's got me so he'll be fine too.

I'd like to wish all of you a very happy new year and thank you so much for reading.  This blog has been a life saver for me and without it I think I would have had a mental breakdown.  The support I receive from my friends and family has been amazing but the support from my fellow lupies has also been amazing.  I love nothing more than when I log on and get a message from someone saying they read my blog and it helped them.  I'm also very pleased to say that I've inspired others to blog and that makes me feel really happy. Creating this blog was one of the best decisions I made this year and I'm hoping to be able to inspire and help more people in 2014.

Cheers! xx

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