25 Mar 2013

Lupus Brain Fog

'We are going to check you have a brain and not just a mass of pink glitter'

Lupus Brain fog is the term used for stupidity during a flare up.  Or to use the proper term 'cognitive dysfunction'.

The symptoms of this are:
Memory Loss
Difficulty expressing your thoughts

Lupus can affect any part of the body, including the brain causing headaches, seizures, strokes and depression.


Sometimes when lupus flares your brain just doesn't work properly  (I'm not sure how or why).  I can't find the word I am looking for no matter how hard I try, I can't remember how to spell things and worryingly one time I wrote the letter R backwards.  Sometimes I can't physically get the words out and I stammer.  It can be very frightening and frustrating but most of the time its funny.

Recently I was making breakfast, well trying to when I put the cereal in the mug and the tea bag in the bowl.  The worst part is it took me a while to realise and I was so very confused.

I put the oven on and don't put the dinner in, only to find it on the side half an hour later.  Hungry and annoyed.

I know we all do silly things like when we're tired but you know when it's lupus brain fog.   This is also how I know a flare up is coming on, it doesn't always happen but usually I notice I start doing lots of silly things (like get in the bath with my socks on) and lo and behold the flare comes on.  

Lupus brain fog and work do not mix...I often make mistakes and forget things.  This is when I get in trouble a lot.  I forgot to send an invoice once for 20 thousand pounds.  I created it but just didn't send it.  It became apparent a week later and boy was I in trouble (understandably).  Obviously, I have tried to explain  to my boss but I'm not sure if he really gets it.   We all make mistakes and I don't always hold the brain frog responsible but I know when it was just a mistake and when my brain is playing funny tricks on me.

Concentrating is almost impossible. I used to read a lot of books (albeit shite chick lit ones) I'd read at least 4 books a month but I just can't do it any more.  I find I read the same page two or three times and the information just doesn't go in.  This was really upsetting for me at first but I'm just used to it now.   

Lupus brain fog + lack of decent sleep + pain every day + lupus fatigue doesn't really make a person want to concentrate.

I told my consultant recently I was having a particularly bad time with it and he said 'Ok I'm going to send you for an MRI scan to make sure lupus isn't doing anything funny to your brain'.  'We will also make sure you have a brain and not a mass of pink glitter'.

He knows me so well.

I had the MRI scan - I do have a brain and it's fine.  I did not like the MRI scan.  I am surprised I didn't have a panic attack.  That shit was scary.  Luckily I made a huge fuss and Sami was allowed in the room with me - he held my leg so I knew he was there and afterwards he bought me some earrrings for being so brave.   They're little white and silver butterflies which is cute because the symbol for lupus is a butterfly.

No comments:

Post a Comment