4 Nov 2013

Steroids: It's a love-hate relationship

Monday 4th November 2014

9 days of steroids = weighing in at an extra 7lbs. What the feck? Who the feck? How the feck? I'm already a few pounds over-weight without this extra 7! Ah for fecks sake. 

Steroids: make you feel better but make you look like a shit heap. 

I can't believe I've put on half a stone in a week. I honestly haven't even eaten that much. I HATE steroids! I knew I'd put on weight after looking at my face in the mirror. I'm all 'double chinny' so I weighed myself and I was right. I'm not sure why I'm surprised; I always gain weight when I go on steroids. The higher the dose the more weight goes on. I only recently found out you can get appetite suppressants for when you're on them.  I need those badboys in my life.

40 years or so ago when they didn't know what to do with lupus patients (not that they know much better now) they used to just prescribe massive doses of steroids (steroids reduce inflammation and suppress the immune system a bit which is why they are used for Lupus flares) and the majority of patients ended up dying from obesity related complications as opposed to lupus complications. They'd also suffer with things like osteoporosis, diabetes, heart attacks - the list goes on. Nowadays steroids are reserved for serious inflammation or severe flare ups. These days they do not prescribe them lightly and I will only take them when I absolutely have to. This week was one of those weeks. I keep a box of them and tend to self prescribe them. I know when I need them and my doctor is happy for me to do so. I usually do a week long course at around 30mg then taper down as the week goes by. This usually kicks the flare's arse and I'm back to (my) normal again. 

I'm annoyed but pleased to say they've definitely helped. I've had much more energy and haven't been in half as much pain. I'll stop taking them now and hope I'll be alright. I can't stand the thought of having to take them long term.  I love them and hate them at the same time.

I hate the way they make me feel, I get all agitated and moody (as well as constantly hungry) which is completely out of character for me. I also get very bloated and feel really uncomfortable and then there's the rapid weight gain.  I was really snapping at Sami the other day and felt so mean, at one point I thought to myself 'omg what is wrong with you? you bitch!' and then I realised it must be the steroids.  I'm not usually snappy at all.  Poor Sami, he deals with it all very well.

On the plus side I probably ought to start exercising again so this has given me a little kick up my bum. 

We've had a really lovely weekend (in between my steroid induced crazy bitch moods) on Friday we had a date night, I cooked a rack of lamb with dauphinoise potatoes, veg and a red wine and shallot jus (it was awesome) then on Saturday we went and booked our wedding - yey! We are getting married on 18th October 2014- I can't wait! Its soooo exciting! In the evening we had a couple of friends over for pizza and drinks and on Sunday we went to the pub with Sami's parents and partners and sister Ela for lunch.  All in all a good and productive weekend.

Today I just did wedding stuff, looking at photographers, hair and make-up artists etc.  I've spent hours trawling the internet. Weddings are hard work! I'm having a great time though and I'm so excited to be marrying Sami.  Tomorrow I have to go to the doctors to renew my sick certificate in order to keep receiving Employment Support Allowance.  My last one ran out a few weeks ago but I haven't been able to get to the doctors as I've been too unwell so I've had a few weeks with no money. So frustrating.  Well I receive some other benefits too but this one is weekly so comes in handy.  I'm hoping the doctor will give me a 6 month cert tomorrow because I'm not always well enough to go down there and get the cert.  For example on Friday I walked down to Sainsburys (20 min walk) to get the lamb for dinner and for 5 minutes I was fine then the other 15 I was in agony with my hip.  I didn't have any cash on me so couldn't get a bus and my phone was dead (typical) so I had to carry on walking, get round Sainsbury's and get home. I was in so much pain.  The same happened on Saturday, I had to bring my walking stick to the wedding venue with me.  I wonder what people must think when they see a young woman with a walking stick? No one has asked me about it.  I'd definitely ask if I was someone else! I'm just rude like that though. And very nosey. 

Anyway, I'm going to bed now. I've come over extremely tired in the last hour or so, it must be Lupus related because there's no real reason I should feel this exhausted.  I did have a busy weekend and I guess it's taking its toll now, plus I stopped the steroids today. Hmm maybe I ought to continue them a bit a longer. Grrrr.

Sami just looked at me and said "Darling, I think you need to go to bed now, you look exhausted." That's me told!  I think what he meant  to say was, "Darling, you need to go to bed because you look mashed up and I want to play Grand Theft Auto" 

Off to beddy byes I go then. na-nights - I hope you all have a great week.

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