Here I am writing me blog from my bed again. =o( Not at work today. I woke up with the intention of going in but when I tried to move I decided gettin up wasn't a happenin today. My joints were saying (in their Samuel L Jackson voice) “Bitch! You aint going NO WHERE today! You staying in this bed and you gon' freakin chill!”
The voice of my joints -
I woke up around 6 times in the night to go to the loo which is a bit annoying so on top of being in pain I'm knackered, oh and I've got a sore throat and a runny nose. I've been waking up a few times to go to the toilet for the past few nights now. I'm hoping there is nothing wrong with my kidneys as the kidneys are the most commonly affected organ in lupus. Around half of people with systemic lupus will have some kind of kidney damage (usually within the first 5 years) so hopefully mine are alright. I had blood tests on Monday so they'll let me know if anything dodge is going on. Could just be a water infection.
My doc did say a year or so ago that he believes my lupus to be confined to the joints and doesn't suspect I will have any organ involvement...I hope he's right.
I don't have much to say today (for once) I'm just tired and fed up really. I did manage to change the duvet covers yesterday so at least I'm in a nice fresh bed. Mmmm.
Not sure what to do with myself. I'm looking around thinking, 'Ooh I could clean the bathroom cabinet or, 'I could do the huge pile of ironing'.
I need to stop and learn to relax! I just feel guilty lying here doing nothing. I know I'm unwell and need to rest but its hard to accept, especially as I'm only in my 20's. I feel like I should be having the time of my life not lying in bed like an empty shell.
Do you know I'm typing this out on my phone then I'm gonna copy and paste into my blog. I couldn't be bothered to go to the next room to get the laptop. It will use too much of my precious energy! Sounds so bad to a normal person but I bet my fellow lupies are nodding and agreeing with this! You know what its like.
I'm ashamed to admit this but sometimes I even consider wetting the bed (don't worry I've never actually done it) but when you're in bed, sooooo exhausted and in agony you just can't be bothered to move and you're desperate for a wee you lie there and for a few mad seconds you think, 'I could just wee here?'
I was talking about this with a fellow lupie yesterday - she brought it up and I was like, oh my god, yes! I do the same thing! That is how exhausted lupus can make you feel.
I don't know why lupus causes such bad fatigue. I don't think the experts even know so I can't shed any light on that one!
Writing this has worn me out! Back to sleep for me. At least in my dreams I am pain free. Oh wow how dramatic does that sound!?! It wasn't supposed to! I'm not that much of a drama queen. I'm more of a drama princess. Ooh I like that one!
Right as I'm starting to waffle its time for me to call it a day. Na-nights my lovely readers. Hope you all have a great day. Xxxx