As a result of my illness I have made the very difficult decision to give up work. I have now accepted that I am unable to hold down a full-time job whilst dealing with a debilitating illness.
Initially, I was worried about what people would think but upon reflection I have decided, 'Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!'
I might look well on the outside and put on a brave face in public which might make people think, 'She's fine, why is she giving up work?' But the truth is, I'm not fine. I am in pain every single day, sometimes so bad I am paralysed with it and can't move from my bed. (I recently spent 4 days in bed and the only way I could get to the bathroom was to crawl). Sometimes I have to ask Sami to wash my hair and dress me because I am unable to. Sometimes I am so depressed with it all that I hide under the duvet and cry for hours. Sometimes the exhaustion caused by the disease leaves me so weak I can't even lift a cup. And this is just one of the illnesses I live with! This isn't even taking into consideration all the horrible side effects and infections I get as a result of taking immune suppressing drugs.
So, to anyone that has passed judgement - please feel free to step into my shoes and live a day in my life because I'd love to see how you'd cope. Biyartch!
Thank you and goodnight. x