Friday 3 May 2013
Today's post is written in stages as I've written some, fallen asleep, written some, gone out and written some more....
Today's post is written in stages as I've written some, fallen asleep, written some, gone out and written some more....
9.30am
After yesterdays vomming I've woken up with a banging headache, my diaphragm is aching and it hurts when I laugh. Sami is under strict instructions not to make me laugh today. He can't help it though!
He's gone to work now but I've stayed home. I'm in no mind set for work and I needed to sleep a bit longer. I just feel drained. I don't think I've ever been that sick. And I've never felt this rough the next day. I'm just going to drink lots of water.
Sami has a half day today so I'm thinking about going to meet him at lunchtime to sit in the park. I feel bad going out to the park when I've called in sick but I need some air and also, I'm not technically an employee there anymore so I need to learn not to worry so much. Can't help it.
I feel like lately Lupus is consuming me and my thoughts. I feel like its all I talk about. But it is having such a huge impact on my life at the moment I guess it would be on my mind a lot. There used to be days where I'd forget I have lupus. That definitely aint happening lately!
Well I did have last Saturday off. That was a good day.
1pm
I wrote the above this morning and felll asleep. Its now 1pm and I'm not going to meet Sami I'm just aching too much and I have zero energy. This makes me sad as the weather is so nice. I've just put a status on facebook saying everyone is making me jealous with their 'Woo its Friday can't wait to go out' status's while I'm stuck in my bed wishing I didn't feel like I've been hit by a train.
My body and my mind are fighting. My mind is all, 'Yey its a beautiful day let's go out and have some fun!' And my body is all 'Bitch you aint going nowhere! You're gonna lie in bed in too much pain to move. Yeah cos that's how mean I am' and 'I'm so evil I'm gonna make laughing hurt too'
That's how it feels.
He's gone to work now but I've stayed home. I'm in no mind set for work and I needed to sleep a bit longer. I just feel drained. I don't think I've ever been that sick. And I've never felt this rough the next day. I'm just going to drink lots of water.
Sami has a half day today so I'm thinking about going to meet him at lunchtime to sit in the park. I feel bad going out to the park when I've called in sick but I need some air and also, I'm not technically an employee there anymore so I need to learn not to worry so much. Can't help it.
I feel like lately Lupus is consuming me and my thoughts. I feel like its all I talk about. But it is having such a huge impact on my life at the moment I guess it would be on my mind a lot. There used to be days where I'd forget I have lupus. That definitely aint happening lately!
Well I did have last Saturday off. That was a good day.
1pm
I wrote the above this morning and felll asleep. Its now 1pm and I'm not going to meet Sami I'm just aching too much and I have zero energy. This makes me sad as the weather is so nice. I've just put a status on facebook saying everyone is making me jealous with their 'Woo its Friday can't wait to go out' status's while I'm stuck in my bed wishing I didn't feel like I've been hit by a train.
My body and my mind are fighting. My mind is all, 'Yey its a beautiful day let's go out and have some fun!' And my body is all 'Bitch you aint going nowhere! You're gonna lie in bed in too much pain to move. Yeah cos that's how mean I am' and 'I'm so evil I'm gonna make laughing hurt too'
That's how it feels.
3pm
Sami has just got home and he's got me a bottle of my fave white wine and a magazine (Cosmo) he threw them on the bed and said, 'There you go, now stop moaning'. Lol He means it in a nice way of course. I am feeling particularly sorry for myself today and I do need to snap out of it. I'm gonna go and have a bath and try and sort this mess out! I am not looking good, my hair is all over the shop and to be honest, I smell. I'm gonna sort my myself out go and see Sami's nephew (Em-J) and bro and sis-in-law. I miss little Em-J. He's nearly 2 and he's just so cute. I love him. He is called Emrah after his Dad but we all call him Em-J like Emrah Junior.
10pm
So we went round to Emrah and Tonya's about 4pm and on a whim decided to go for fish and chips. I just had a craving and after all the vomming I thought I may as well fill my belly with something tasty. Mmmm fish and chips.It was lovely and really nice to spend time with family too.
So we went round to Emrah and Tonya's about 4pm and on a whim decided to go for fish and chips. I just had a craving and after all the vomming I thought I may as well fill my belly with something tasty. Mmmm fish and chips.It was lovely and really nice to spend time with family too.
We're at home now, I've had another bath because my joints were aching (not because I smell this time) and I'm about to hit the sack. I'm feeling OK and a helluva lot better compared to this morning. I've just got the lap top out while Sami plays some crappy computer game and I had a little browse on Facebook and saw that I had a friend request from a girl called Claire, I accepted it and it turns out she'd been reading this blog and she told me it cheered her up today. That really means a lot to me so thanks Claire and I'm glad I cheered you up. xxxx
G'night y'all - have a good nights sleep and to my fellow lupies I wish you a night free of pain, medication induced ceeerazy nightmares and night sweats! xx
So sorry to hear how bad you've been feeling. I know what you mean when you say you feel like Lupus is all you talk about anymore. I think it is a phase in the stages of acceptance and healthy. It's the only way you will make others around you start to understand what's going on. Gentle hugs from one blonde lupie to another. :)
ReplyDeletehugs to you too blondie xxx
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