12 Jul 2013

Louboutin and Me

Thursday 11 July 2013 

I mean don't get me wrong, I for one do love a good selfie from time to time but I'm noticing a lot of people uploading whole collages of their own face.  Family collages or varied photo collages are nice but 6 pics of your own face in one collage, including side views, front view, here's my pout, here's my smile, here's my sad face is not cool. What the feck? Since when did blatant narcissism become fashionable and acceptable?  Just seems like an odd thing to do - like the sort of thing you see at funerals.  Next people will be writing their own eulogy - 'I am such a fabulous person, beautiful, kind...'  Weird.

Insert collage here. 

I can't believe I'm writing this but, I've had a whole week without feeling like death! A whole week. This is wonderful.  I do ache all the time but its more an annoying background pain than excruciating, teeth grinding, I want to kill myself pain.  It must be because I am now in possession of a pair of Louboutin heels! If you know me, you will know how much this means to me and you will also most definitely be fed up of hearing about the fecking things. I've even proposed marriage to them, that's how much I love them. I told Sami, 'I love you but I love the shoes more.' Haha not really but I did tell him if we are not engaged within the next 2 yrs I am marrying the shoes. He said I'm crazy and need help. I don't care. He's just as crazy for being with me. 

I've said goodnight to my shoes and put them by the bed so I can look at them as soon as I wake up. Ok maybe I am a bit nuts. Ah feck it, I may be nuts but I got loubies. I'm a content nutter which is the good kind.

Here I am starling lovingly at my shoes......

My mum has the same sized feet as me so she's going to want to borrow the shoes. Can I part with them? I just don't know. I really don't. Time will tell my friends. Time will tell... 

I really should be asleep but for some odd reason this is when I tend to do most of my writing when I'm half asleep. When I'm in the mood to write I can't ignore it. I have to do it. So here I am at 1am writing a load of shite. I don't even know who reads this. What if I'm writing this and no one reads it? Does that mean I'm writing to myself? Because I do enjoy talking to myself. 

When I write, I sometimes show Sami the finished article prior to posting it online and he'll say 'Hmmm, you can't put that, you might get into trouble' or 'I'm not sure, that's too private' he is basically my editor and trust me, I need it to be edited.

I have no problem with sharing all my deepest and darkest fears, thoughts, secrets with whoever will listen/read and sometimes its not good. I need to learn to keep a bit of myself private.  I've realised people who read my blog a lot must feel like they know me because I literally just write everything I'm thinking and feeling in a way you'd tell your best friend. 

I was in Bromley a while a go and a girl (who I do not know) told me she reads my blog and loves it and her friend has lupus and its helped open her eyes to it etc etc (hi if you're reading this) and I was very flattered but afterwards I thought she was just talking to me like she knew me. I found it so bizarre and how weird that this stranger knows all about my boyfriend, my family, my whole life basically.

When I started the blog I genuinely thought around 4 people maximum would read it! Its a bit surreal how much feedback I've had and how many new friends I've gained. So maybe if I write a book then it doesn't have to be about me and I can write what the hell I want with no worry it will get me into trouble. Sami said the 'That awkward moment when...' post might be a bit offensive to some but I said sod it, this is me, this is my humour and if you're offended then don't continue to read. So sometimes I ignore his opinions but I am grateful for his input.  

I'm doing that thing where I'm waffling on again aren't I? Today's blog is all over the place! I'm surprised you're still reading to be honest. Sami's got the day off work tomorrow seeing as the weather is so gorgeous we decided we'd have a day out together.   I'm really looking forward to it. I'm not gonna say where we're going or what we're doing as I'm going to keep that information for myself. That's my attempt at being more private. The worst thing is, I'm desperate to tell! 

I feel so guilty when I receive my disability allowance when I'm having a good week. I feel like I shouldn't be getting it but then I think well it might be bad again soon and I never know how long the bad spells last for so I need to learn to not feel guilt. Plus I've worked full time since I was 17 and paid my taxes so I'm not exactly a scrounger. 

A friend of a friend recently said, 'If you think about it, I've paid for your new shoes with my tax.' Errrm, no, no you didn't - they were bought with my own money for which I'd worked hard for and saved so shut up and go away. Sorry - I just had to get that point across.

Right I had better get to bed! I've got a busy day in Hastings tomorrow...oh bugger! Now you know what I'm up to! 

Have a good weekend xxx

No comments:

Post a Comment