8 Jul 2013

No, I am not bored, I am sick.

Monday 8th July 2013

People keep asking me, 'So, what are you doing with your time now you're not working anymore?' I want to say, 'Well y'know, I'm running and jumping and skipping around doing gymnastics.' But sadly I'm not. I'm resting or sitting on my arse. Yep. I sit on my arse and I relax and that's all I intend on doing for the foreseeable. On a good day, I get dressed, I go out, see people, have fun. On bad days I don't get dressed. So that's it. 

Am I bored? Not really as when I'm sitting around on my arse I'm usually exhausted and/or in agony so I don't really think about being bored.

So that's it really. I must admit, I am enjoying not working. I never thought I'd say that as when I was briefly unemployed a few years ago I hated every moment and I wondered how people could ever choose to be unemployed. And here I am. Its different for me though as my reasons for not working are illness. It just feels good not to have to worry about getting up for work. Sometimes I'd wake up 6 or 7 times with the night sweats and then 3 or 4 times to pee, I'd wake up exhausted and in agony with all my joints and I'd have to go to work. It was awful. On the days I couldn't make it in I'd be lying in bed riddled with guilt so even when I was resting I wasn't really resting. Now I can relax in the knowledge that I'm not letting anyone down. Its like a weight has been lifted from my (aching) shoulders.

I've had a great weekend - it was mostly spent drinking pimms and eating bbq food. On Friday evening Sami and I went to our local pub to enjoy the sunshine, we were ready to leave at 9.30pm (we were being sensible for once) when Graham turned up so we had 'one' more which turned into about 5 more! We had fun but I was suffering on Saturday and we'd planned to  spend the whole day in Crystal Palace park with Sami's family which, with a hangover wasn't very appealing but we did have a really lovely day - the fresh air sorted my pounding head. Chris's (Sami's Mums husband) daughter and her little boy came along, too and it was lovely to spend time with them. All in all a great weekend.

Lovely Pimms Cocktail...

I bought this fabulous hat to ensure I'm shaded from the sun - I think its more like an umbrella! 

The sun did affect me a little bit, I was aching quite badly by about 6pm and I was super stiff on Sunday morning but its nothing unbearable so I'm quite lucky - I know some lupies who can barely even look at the sun. So I aint complaining.

I'm feeling a bit under appreciated this week. I popped into my old job the other day to get some bits I'd left and it suddenly dawned on me that nobody bothered to get me a leaving card. I just thought it was so rude, especially in the circumstances in which I left. Other people have come and gone and been given a card and gifts and I was just given a plastic bag with my belongings...thanks!  It just made me feel really shitey. I worked there for nearly 3 years and I worked hard.  I even used to take my hospital appointments out of my annual leave and that's how I'm treated when I leave? Takes the piss if you ask me.  Oh well, at least I know who cares and who doesn't.

I've  been selling my unwanted shoes and clothes on e-bay to get a bit of extra cash and I think I'm addicted - I want to sell everything! Only thing is I queued up for an hour in the post office today. It was 30 degrees and I was not happy. Think I'm gonna leave it a couple of weeks before putting my other stuff up for sale. I'm not in a hurry to get back to that fecking post office.

Anyway I'm gonna leave it there today, I feel like I'm being a bit droney and whiney - I'm very tired.  In fact I'm absolutely exhausted...its only 9pm!  Time for beddy bye-byes.

I'll try and be a bit more interesting in the next post!

Have a good one x


  1. It's funny because you and I are strangely often feeling the same things half way across the world. I am not working right now either but because I am a school teacher, and have spent most of my hours being in pain in bed but I am quite happy because I don't have that stesss of knowing I have to go to work after I stay up all night. As far as your work, they are fucking assholes...just saying.

  2. Haha! Thanks Claudia! Yes we do seem to go through the same stages at similar times..I'm glad you are feeling less stressed with not working. It does feel good. You can just concentrate on you now. Xxx