19 Apr 2013

On the tip of my tongue

I'm back at work today and feeling OK.  Surprisingly.  That's the weird thing about this Lupus malarkey is one day you're bed-bound and the next you can jump around like a gymnast.  Well maybe not quite a gymnast but y'know a normal person.

Yesterday was tough though.  I was in a BAD way.  I was in so much pain and I couldn't even string a sentence together, everything was just on the tip of my tongue - so annoying!  It was really bugging me, all my words were coming out jumbled or I just couldn't find the word I wanted.  Bloody Lupus Brain Fog!  Or to use the correct term 'Cognitive Dysfunction' I'm still not 100% with it today to be honest.  Oh well at least its FRIDAY! Thank the holy lord up above for that. I think I would have died if it wasn't Friday.  Like actually died.

RIP Faye McInerney
Cause of Death: 
Heart attack caused by shock of alarm going off and seeing it was a Thursday.

Not sure what the plan is for this weekend - I am desperate to go 'out-out' but even if I feel well I should probably just relax.  Sami is going to cook for me tonight which will be nice and then tomorrow, well I did wanna go out with my friend Lexie but we are going to wait until tomorrow to see how I am and if I'm up to it then she will probably just come round mine.  

Hopefully on Sunday I'll be able to meet up with best friend Sil and go for a carvery. MMMMM Roast potatoes....

Ya can't even plan a shite when you've got Lupus as I said earlier, one day I'm unable to walk or think and the next day I'm bouncing around like a kids TV presenter.  So we'll see.  Luckily my friends are brilliant and very understanding. 

Its starting to sink in that I'm leaving work now.  We interviewed this morning and it kind of hit home that I'm actually leaving.  I've had a nice time here over the past 2 and half years....I get on with everyone and its generally a nice place to work. I have my days when I don't want to be here but mostly I enjoy it.  But I know I am doing the right thing by leaving.  I need to rest.  I can only seem to do two full days at the moment then I'm stuck in bed for two days and so the pattern continues.  

I'm looking forward to getting some kind of life back.  I used to be so energetic and always up for 'doing stuff' now the only thing I wanna do is sleep and eat.  So hopefully it will work out and I will have a better quality of life instead of just 'existing'.

I hope the good times are coming!